Book # 18 Faery Farming for Fun & Profit by Torak Skarbum
Part I

Ah is Torak Skarbum, goblin extraordinare. Ah used ta be a chicken farmer
den ah realized dat goblins dona eat chickens when dey kin git faery meat,
so ah switched over to faeries and mah future is secure.

As ah been havin lots of folks askin me about mah success with "Skarbum
Faery Fresh Farms LTD", ah decided ta shut em up by sharing mah expertise.

1. Stock acquisition.

Either buy yer stock from a breeder (dats me) or catch some of dem feral
faeries. But no matter whats ya do, makes sure dat da little devils is
young. Later on ya kin breed yer own.

Ya needs ta gets em before day learn ta talk and den never, ever let em
learn how ta talk. Mute stock makes your job a whole lots easier. If ya
catches a talker, ya kin cut its' tongue out, (makes a tasty hors d'oeuvre)
but better yet, harvest da little talker. (Young sauted faery is a nice
snack for hungry faery hunters).

I gets as much of ma stock from da wild as ah kin as dere ain't as much
inbreeding. (Besides is jus plain fun ta gather some family and go huntin
down dem feral faeries). Just off da parents and use dem for faery gruel
(see below) as feral faery is much too stringy and tough ta market). Pop da
calf in a cage and presto instant live stock. An me bein a frugal goblin,
da price is right!

2. Free range or cage (battery).

Hands down, no doubt about it... battery. Yer product will be tender, juicy
an well marbled with fat if ya battery raise em. Raise em as free range an
dey is almost as tough as feral faery. Yechhh!

Besides, ya kin get lots of cages from dem folks dat used ta raise
chickens. Dem is da same cages which ah uses. Dem chicken farmers can't
stand da competition from we faery farmers... our product is so superior ta
chicken as ta put dem out of business. Once ya taste a Skarbum Faery Fresh
Faery (tradmark) ya ain't never goin back ta chicken.

Yes siree, dem little buggers just sits around in dem cages eating all day
long and plumps up so nice. Also, da plumber ya can get em, da lower da
loss when ya plucks der wings and da higher da price for da wings.

Don't cha know that our product is so tender and juicy, dat many folks
don't even bother ta cook em. Dey just thaw dem carcass' out and start
munchin. Jes member ta remove da itsy popup thingie dat tells when dey is
cooked.

The End

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