Book 56 -- Lydia's Kitchen (last revised 6/29/01)
by Lydia Loveless (the Goblin Gourmet)

When you're hungry, feast on these scrumptious goblin recipies...
Fill a kettle fulla oil
bring it to a ragin' boil
drop in strips of Elven skin
a crispy treat will cook within!
Hang a human by his toes
suck his brains out through his nose
spit em out into a bowl
mix with porridge then serve cold!
Git sum stubby Dwarven fingers
powder them wit' lots of ginger
let 'em sit for seven days
or til they turn a shade of gray!
Carve a side of Minotaur
into many different parts
tastes a bit like human food
but there's enough to feed a brood!
Rid a Drakan's neck of bone
stuff it thru wit' nose of Gnome
this you'll surely want to roast
slice then serve on blackened toast!
Clip a Faerie's little wings
roll within it's legs and things
for another soon you'll wish
eat this rare and tasty dish!
Fetch a Feline's heart and spleen
soak in broth of dragonbean
simmer slow on burning ember
tis a meal ya shall remember!
Beat a Brownie til it dies
then pluck out it's lifeless eyes
pickle them in wooden kegs
with a lizardwoman's eggs!
Here's some others you can try
Half-Elf stew and Halfling pie
Ogre lips and Half-Troll feet
these are also good to eat!

The End

Back to The Library

 Create your own free wiki!Support CommunityPublic, not yet premium Privacy Policy RSS